Stupid Stories!

Memorial Day Is Only the Third-Most-Popular Day for Grilling

Fri, 18 May 2012 17:20:00 GMT

Memorial Day is coming up, which is when most people break out their backyard grills for summer cookouts. A survey by the Weber grill company found that 71% of Americans plan to cook out on Memorial Day. That's a lot, but it's only the THIRD-most-popular grilling holiday.

The Fourth of July is the most-popular, with 90% of people grilling. And 76% of people say they cook out to celebrate birthdays. Memorial Day finished ahead of Father's Day, with only 53% of people cooking out for dad.

71% of Americans own a grill, and three quarters of them cook out at least once a week. Hamburgers are the most-popular food to grill, followed by chicken and steak.

(PR Newswire)

Would You Vandalize a McDonald’s Because You Didn’t Get Enough Tiny Onions?

Fri, 18 May 2012 17:12:00 GMT

A lot of people don't find those tiny little onions on McDonald's burgers to be that flavorful, and who knows how loosely related to actual onions they are. But that's just me. THESE guys clearly feel very differently.

Early Sunday, 21-year-old Christopher Slate and 23-year-old Sean Mosey of Murfreesboro, Tennessee went to a McDonald's while drunk and ordered cheeseburgers. When they got home, they were OUTRAGED to find the McDonald's had given them an insufficient amount of tiny onions on their burgers.

So they drank a few more beers, and went back to the McDonald's to WRECK the place. They shattered the front window with a piece of concrete, and threw a BRICK through the drive-thru window. An employee was cut by the flying glass, and the manager was hit in the leg by the concrete.

Their getaway fell apart when Sean tripped as they were running away, and was too drunk to get up. Both were arrested for felony reckless endangerment and vandalism.

(Smoking Gun)

(Here are their mugshots. Sean's head is bandaged from his fall.)

The Four Most Outrageous Commutes in the World

Fri, 18 May 2012 17:10:00 GMT

If you think YOUR commute sucks, check out this list from "Reader's Digest" of the worst commutes in the WORLD. You've probably heard how crammed-in they are in Beijing: Last August, a traffic jam stretched for 60 miles and lasted NINE DAYS. So Beijing definitely makes the list. Here are four more.

#1.) The Tokyo Rail System. It gets so packed, you just stand there and can't move at all. So they actually have "train pushers" who wear white gloves and literally pack people into the train so the doors can close. The system gets around 8.7 million passengers a day, and regularly runs at 200% capacity. Plus, you have to deal with the, "chikan," which loosely translates to "train gropers."

#2.) The Los Pinos Zipline. The village of Los Pinos is in the middle of the Colombian jungle, and to get to school, kids either have to walk around a 1,200-foot gorge, or use a 1,300-foot zip line to go OVER it. They use a piece of wood as a brake, so they don't slam into the tires on the other side at 40 miles an hour. (Check out a video of people using it.)

#3.) The Hussaini Bridge in Pakistan. It's made of rope and wood, it's 635 feet long, and it's completely falling apart. (Check it out here. It looks kinda like the bridge Indiana Jones has to cross in "Temple of Doom", but worse.) People use it to transport crops, firewood, and livestock. It's not very high, but it crosses a huge river. And if you fall in, you can easily get swept away and drown.

#4.) Yungus Road in Bolivia. It's 38-miles long, and most of it is only wide enough for one car, but it's not one-way. And if you drive off the side, you fall 3,000 feet. Hundreds of people have died on it, so it's also known as "El Camino de la Muerte," which means "The Road of Death".

(Reader's Digest)

Almost a Quarter of People Worldwide Speak English, So You Don't Have to Bother Learning Other Languages

Thu, 17 May 2012 18:51:00 GMT

Americans always get grief because we only speak English, and get frustrated in other countries when THEY don't speak English. Well, there's good news. Now, they do. So we can keep being as lazy as ever! God bless America.

In a new global survey, 26% of people worldwide say they find themselves needing foreign languages to do their jobs. Of those, more than two-thirds say they speak English. Spanish is a distant second, at 5%.

Darrell Bricker runs the polling firm that did the survey. He says, "All those in the English-speaking world who suggested that our children should learn Mandarin [Chinese] or Japanese to have successful careers? They were beaten to the punch by the Chinese, in particular, learning English first."

In other words, don't learn a foreign language because they're all learning English. Win-win, right?

(Malaysian Insider)

Would You Like a Pendant with Justin Bieber's Cloned DNA In It?

Thu, 17 May 2012 18:39:00 GMT

If you want to be closer to JUSTIN BIEBER, this might be your best chance: A company called Celebrity Gene got a hold of a piece of Justin's hair, from which they cloned his DNA. And now they're going to sell pendants with that DNA in them.

They'll cost about 120 bucks, and they go on sale around the end of the month. (This company sells other stars' cloned DNA, including Elvis, Michael Jackson and Princess Diana. Here's their website.)

A Couple in Pennsylvania Has Three Cars Crash Into Their House In Six Months

Thu, 17 May 2012 18:38:00 GMT

We're going to pass along a message here from Wade and Sonya Schenewolf of Easton, Pennsylvania. They are asking people for something TOTALLY reasonable . . . please stop CRASHING your cars into their HOUSE. Wade and Sonya have had THREE CARS crash through their house in the past SIX MONTHS. Once in December, once in March, and once again on Tuesday. They also got hit a fourth time about a year-and-a-half ago.

Their house is on a curve, and it's one of those curves where the "30 miles-per-hour" sign ISN'T for show. But we're all kinda trained to disregard those, and in this case, when people push the speed limit too far, they crash into the house. The driver on Tuesday was going 65 and was AIRBORNE when he hit their garage. He did about $40,000 in damage to the house AND totaled Sonya's car in the garage. She was told her car being there slowed him down and saved his life.

The Schenewolfs have thought about putting a GIANT BOULDER in front of their house to protect it from drivers, but the city told them it would make them liable for anything that happened to someone who hit it. So for now, they're doing the only thing they can do. Asking people to please stop crashing into their house.

(Yahoo)

(Here's a photo of the crash from Tuesday. You can see the driver's wrecked car and Sonya's too.)

The Quickest Way to Get in the Mood is . . . Lots of Wine

Wed, 16 May 2012 17:30:00 GMT

We guess it's refreshing to know that whether you're on a first date, or eating dinner with your wife of 50 years, it takes the EXACT same thing to end the night with some sweetness. And that thing is . . . WINE. According to a new survey, both men and women, whether they're single or in a relationship, said wine was the best tool to quickly get in the mood.

Here are a few other results from the survey . . .

50% of men and 43% of women have talked dirty over the phone.

Almost twice as many women say hearing "I love you" turns them on more than hearing "You're so hot."

38% of people in relationships say they fantasize about their significant other. Which is a lot. BUT, 38% also fantasize about a celebrity, 19% fantasize about a coworker, and 8% fantasize about a friend's spouse.

(Yahoo Shine)

One Out of Every 12 Corvettes Ever Made Has Been Stolen

Wed, 16 May 2012 17:29:00 GMT

It's almost impossible to figure out the most stolen car brand in history, because of missing data and inconsistent reporting. But the National Insurance Crime Bureau has a pretty strong guess. Based on their historical data, they believe the most stolen car ever is, the Chevrolet Corvette. If you buy one, there's a REMARKABLY HIGH chance someone's going to steal it.

Since the Corvette debuted in 1953, there have been around 1.5 million made, and almost 135,000 stolen. That means, overall, 8.7% of Corvettes have been stolen. That's more than one out of every TWELVE. Just since 1981, when theft reporting became standardized and the data is the most reliable, 10.5% of Corvettes have been stolen.

(Sympatico)

Five Manscaping Rules, According to Women

Wed, 16 May 2012 17:28:00 GMT

A new documentary called "Mansome" comes out in limited release this Friday. It's by Morgan Spurlock, the guy from "Super Size Me", and it's about the rising popularity of "manscaping". A lot more guys are willing to do it now, because they know women like it. But they still tend to be pretty clueless about HOW to manscape. So ModernMan.com asked WOMEN what men should shave and what they shouldn't.

Here are the five rules they came up with.

#1.) Shave or Wax Your Back, but Keep It a Secret. Basically, they want you to do it if you have a lot of back hair. But they'd rather not know about it. (On the other hand, maybe you can bond over it.)

#2.) Don't Shave Your Chest Hair, but Trim It if It Gets Out of Control. If you need to clean it up a little bit, use trimmers. Don't shave everything, and don't get it waxed. The only time it's even ACCEPTABLE to shave all your chest hair is if you're in outstanding shape. Otherwise, leave a little.

#3.) Never Completely Shave Your Package. One woman said it best, "It makes me think he's trying too hard, or [he's] a weirdo who loves staring at his naked crotch." On the other hand, don't let it get TOO crazy down there. They say to use scissors or trimmer, never wax, and be VERY careful.

#4.) Don't Shave Your Face on Weekends. If you HATE having facial hair, or SHE hates it, then by all means shave. But apparently a lot of women like it when you're scruffy sometimes.

#5.) Don't Shave Your Arms or Your Legs. Again, one of the women they talked to nailed this one. She said, "I would find it very, very odd if a guy waxed his arms and legs and wasn't a cyclist or a swimmer." We assume the same thing goes for the hair under your arms.

(ModernMan.com)

Stupid Photo of the Day: A Drunk Driver Crashes His Lexus Into a Family's Backyard Pool

Tue, 15 May 2012 17:31:00 GMT

On Sunday morning, a family in La Puente, California was woken up around 5:25 A.M. by a CRASHING sound, and then a SPLASH. They ran into their backyard to see what happened.

Turns out a 40-year-old drunk driver named Modesto Cabral had crashed his Lexus through their cinderblock wall, then sank his car in their pool. He suffered minor injuries and was arrested.

(San Gabriel Valley Tribune)

Check out the great photo of the submerged car here: